Stillness...

There are certain times, or some days when I become very quiet. When I find that there is not much to say in my heart or out my mouth. Today was not one of them, but right now seems to be. Rocky and I just got off the phone and it seems so strange that we are still apart. I feel that sometimes. Like in my mind Ive been thinking about and anticipating this time when we arent apart and we are close beyond what we have ever had - thinking about it so much that the reality of a very quiet, speechless (though understandably so, hes getting sick and both of us are tired)conversation is a surprisingly blunt object hitting my fantasy. There are so many things that I know will be hard and wont just resolve themselves - most things actually; I can know that in my head, but not really understand it in my heart.
Huh, oddly enough - I tend (when Im not necessarily balanced in my thinking) to subtly imagine marriage as either being this unknown bliss or as this trek out into no mans land. Im being exaggerative to make a point, I dont fully feel either of those extremes. I know there will be hard things, but that there will be things that are deeply good, and some things that will just be plain fun. All around, Im very excited about this new voyage, preparing all the sails, Rudder and a nalgene full of water, by Gods grace - were headed out to sea.