Ruby (Acoustic) - Johnny Reid

He is landing. Welcome back Rocky. I miss you.

Im finding it hard to really describe the kind of day today has been. Rocky left this morning, and it feels like I havent stopped crying since 7am this morning. Even if there are no more tears running, I havent stopped.

I wandered my way home, stopping a few different places for no reason. By the time I got home I had no idea what to do with myself. I fell asleep on the guest room bed and I could smell him on the pillow. Waking up was one of the most unpleasant realities I have faced in a long time. This has been the hardest one yet by far. Strangely enough it wasnt initially, it was about the same feeling as it has always been, but since Ive been home and time continues to pass, it feels more and more like a deeper ache.

The Barn is tonight, and I dont know if Im going to go. The idea of being around people is unappealing. Everything in me says I need to suck it and keep living, and I have respectfully decided that Im not going to this time. Letting this relational shock run its course so that joy can come again. I dont mean that Im going to mope and stop living either, Ive just been noticing in all this that its my tendency to try not to let things hurt, or pretend that Im okay; Ill throw myself into something so I dont have to let it hurt as much - and I dont want to, because there is healing after there is legitamate, full blown ache. Lord I thank you for being so faithful. That faithfulness is your character, not a fleeting characteristic. That in a time when it feels like everything just stops, you dont.