Offering - Third Day

Solid. So many things in my heart and mind have been solidified more and more as I surrender them to change. Its completely contrary to my natural thought, the way that the Lord works sometimes. Which makes me think of how counter-cultural everything Christ was here on earth and what He taught is. Ha, or maybe how counter-Christian our culture is.

In this song, Im just kind of listening to it on a list I made - and when he sings "This is my offering...Ill give you my life because its all I have to give" the first time, its kind of where I am. I feel like this morning specifically Im letting go of things Ive been holding onto for a fear that the Lord will just take them. Or resisting truly exposing my heart about certain things. In my head and even in my heart of course I know that I dont want the control, that the Lord has plans for me already, but in my heart - I feel like Ive only been part-time excercising that knowledge.

Its been a good morning, and I Know its only because of Gods grace in my life, a grace in my everyday life that I dont deserve or work for. I find myself so deeply excited about where Rocky and I are in our relationship. I hate that we are apart, like my heart knows he is the one that I want to be with, and that has been solidified so much; so why am I not with him? It isnt natural at this point to be away from him. Which makes it hard now, but is so comforting to my heart. Because Im IN IT. I am IN this relationship so much more and my love for him is continually growing. Its not that I didnt know that I wanted this before, it is just much more solid.